Do you find it difficult to say "no" to other people’s requests? Since there just aren’t enough hours in the day to please everyone and still give yourself the kind of self-care you deserve, the art of saying "no" without hurting the feelings of others, or feeling like you’re letting them down, is an important skill to acquire. Overscheduling yourself can cause stress to you, your family, and even the people you’ve said yes to, when you should have said no.
Saying "no" doesn’t have to be difficult, mean, or rude. There are plenty of polite, yet assertive, ways you can tell people "no" when you need to.
Here are five ways you can say "no":
"No" to now, but "yes" to later
"I’m very busy at the moment. Perhaps someone else can help you. If not, I’ll have time later in the week to help you out."
This is a great way to say "no." It’s assertive, but also positive. You let the person know there’s no way you can do what they’re asking at the moment. However, you give them the option to ask someone else or wait until you have the time to help out.
"No" unless something changes
"I’m very flattered that you’ve asked me. I’m not able to take on this responsibility right now. Could we talk about this another time if there’s a change in my circumstances?"
This statement says "no" while still being firm and clear. You let them know you respect that they’ve asked you, and then you’re honest about how little time you have to commit to their request.
A definitive "No"
"I hate to disappoint you, but I’m not able to do this. I’m afraid I’ll overextend myself."
With this statement, you express regret for disappointing the person, yet you still let them know that this is a solid "no." No doubt they’ll understand you don’t want to overextend yourself, and opens the way for them to understand where you’re coming from.
"No" to attend an event
"I had a great time before, but I won’t be able to make it this time."
Sometimes you may get asked to an event you don’t want to attend or that you just don’t have the time for. You don’t have to feel obligated to go.
"No" to loaning money
"I really wish I could but I make it my practice not to loan money to friends and family."
Money is such a tricky one! It’s a difficult situation since you don’t want to insult them or hurt their feelings. You let them know that you wish you could loan them the money, yet you go on to explain why you won’t. You make it clear that this is the practice you have for everyone, and you’re not just saying "no" to him or her personally.
Yes-itis is the Parent Disease!
For some reason, parents particularly often feel they must always say "yes." Whether it’s working at a PTA function, helping in your child’s classroom, or going to yet another classmate’s birthday party, you may feel like these are things you must fit into your already busy schedule.
However, you can take control of your family’s calendar – and your sanity – by saying "no" to some offers that come your way. Saying "no" in a pleasant tone of voice won’t lose any friends; but it will allow you to set boundaries so you can enjoy life rather than racing through it.
You’ll also be avoiding the lack of integrity that comes with overscheduling yourself, and not being able to follow through on what you have committed to. Taking a good look at what you can achieve in a day and saying yes to only those things you can fit in, is an important skill for every adult.
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